Creating Memories

Randy suggested that I ask participants about how they would feel if they learned a Carapace story wasn’t true. It’s been a really interesting question, especially hearing the diversity of answers. I asked Randy his opinion, and this is part of his eloquent response:

My personal view is that the "objective" facts of a story are imbued with emotional truth and vice versa, so that if a storyteller deliberately plays fast and loose with one, s/he's doing the same with the other. We know as much in our everyday lives. How one feels emotionally is tied to what one sees, hears, smells, touches in each particular situation -- and at a particular time! (Ask anyone who's tried to recreate a situation *exactly* in order to live again a certain emotional feeling. It usually fails.) The principle can't help but carry into story, and how stories are offered.

I am one of those who feels okay about fudging some details to make the story a story. On reading this again, I was really struck by Randy’s comment about recreating a situation. The more I tell a story the more that becomes, in my head, what actually happened. I think this can be a healthy and good thing when the story is empowering. But it is a little startling to realize I’m losing the truth even in my own mind.

As an example, I told a story at Carapace earlier this week about a tough time I had in my last job. I left out the fact that I was 7 months pregnant during that time. It wasn’t really relevant to the story, although it might have made me an even more sympathetic protagonist. I don’t leave this out to be deceptive, but just because it doesn’t particularly add and could be a distracting detail. I’ve told this story a few times and never include my pregnancy as part of the story. Although I am sort of aware of how things really happened, I now picture the story in my head without the pregnancy. The next morning Facebook showed me a memory of myself performing at Carapace around the time the story took place. And in the picture I’m pregnant. I was almost startled to see so clearly what I’ve written out of that episode.

In my story I hadn’t recreated my original experience. I created a different experience.